Thoughts in a quiet room
for H.B. ‘though you'll never know...
A question
How is life mirrored against reason?
Is love maybe another reality?
Let me answer right -
Maybe another repetition
Allows revelation -
Release?
Portrait
Oh you beautiful boy!
Trembling on the cusp of manhood,
smooth face still untouched by tempered steel.
Eyes: clear, whites white
and irises blue-grey like the sea.
Hair: blond, slightly unkempt,
blown by the fresh wind of outdoors,
yet retaining the scent of your shower this morning.
Slim, lithe body encased by fashion
both artless and artful.
Designed to attract,
yet still aloof,
unaware of the power
your looks could unleash.
A glimpse of a throat,
a collarbone’s end;
slim wrists, slender fingers –
are you right-handed?
I watch as you write;
now I know with which hand
you pleasure yourself –
perhaps in your shower this morning?
Perhaps again tonight
within the darkened cocoon of your duvet.
What images do you see?
Is it the pretty fair-haired girl
you keep stealing glances at
in my classes?
In my cocoon,
I picture you.
But, coming, you dissolve
and I am again alone.
You
Just looking at you
is almost more than I can bear.
I yearn to touch,
caress and stroke and kiss;
and take you in my arms,
and hold you close,
rip off the impediments of cloth
and feast upon your naked frame
with eyes and hands and tongue and more...
I long to be one with you
you in me and I in you.
Looking at you,
I ache.
Opposites
Who cares?
I
who knows
you.
-------------------
I am!
you are?
we aren’t.
--------------------
Within me
You -
Without you
me.
-------------------
dark
fair
old
young
me
you
us
yes?
no.
You Said You’d Miss Me
You said you’d miss me
when I kept you back
to urge you on and finish the course.
“I’d miss you,”
you said.
A joke?
Cruel wit!
Because, my love,
I will miss you –
unbearably.
And you?
You’d not miss me,
you’d be glad to be free –
no more classes!
“You’d miss me?”
I don’t think so!
Fatal Attraction
Like a moth to a naked flame
I was drawn in by your brilliance.
But coming too close, I burnt and died
consumed by your uncaring heat.
Your flame burns on, unconcerned,
the ground a graveyard at your feet.
Wrong again
Out of sight, out of mind.
Oh no - not at all my love!
Perfection?
Have a care!
Your smiles are darts,
- shot by your cupid-bow lips
Your eyes are cruel,
- they penetrate my very soul
Your lips are wicked,
- how I want to kiss them!
Your cheek is evil.
- smooth as alabaster
Your hair, unholy,
- a soft golden halo
Your body, lethal,
- lithe, slim perfection!
Your touch is icy,
- tender, gentle hands
Your breath is poison,
- sweet warmth on my cheek
Your words are barbs,
- I hang on your every syllable
Your presence hateful.
- I can’t be without you.
Have a care,
Your beauty kills –
- And I love you!
Listening to music
Silent and serene,
I watch you,
willing you to speak.
Our glances meet –
words fail.
I feel your presence
and wonder.
What cannot be said;
we have no words.
Like the winter waterfall
my tongue is frozen
belying the torrents of summer.
If we could speak, unfettered,
what might be said?
So we part
in unfulfilled silence,
but with a kiss...
which echoingly resounds.
How I would love to whisper
How I would love to whisper
the unsaid thoughts
which go through my mind.
How I would love to whisper
soft gentle passion,
breaths from my being.
How I would love to whisper
caressingly telling you
my deepest need.
How I would love to whisper
quietly yet urgently
what I feel for you.
How I would love to whisper...
And then, I could shout
for all to hear:
I love you.
Madrigal
Come, sit by me and let my senses reel.
I must stay calm in spite of what I feel.
Your artless smile and open, honest face
a picture of youth and beauty clothed in grace.
Beside me, as I tremble, you sit calm.
So trusting, innocent, you sense no harm,
nor hear the thunderous beating of my heart
as close to me you sit, a work of Art.
How near you are, yet far away,
I feel your warmth, would you but stay.
But all too soon the lesson’s done
you smile and thank me – then you’re gone.
While listening to Strauss’ Vier letzte Lieder, 23. 11. 07
Frühling
You are Spring
I am Autumn -
Summer separates us for ever.
September
Golden September –
Summer’s last flowering
or winter’s herald?
Beim Schlafengehen
Such stillness!
A whole world within you:
Of what do you dream?
Im Abendrot
Come, walk with me for a while –
at least until my sun sets.
Envoi
How I loved my adorable reprobate!
I lost my heart and mind to you,
lovely golden selfish youth!
My thoughts constantly turned on you,
as through my grey existence I endured.
Remembrance is all I have now.
But in remembering, grief is recalled:
I weep for what was and that which was not –
reality invades the mirage of memory,
golden sands of time become as grey as dust.
Impossible love! How could it ever be?
Remember me? I think not.
Reminiscence
Throughout my life, they’ve come and gone,
like comets in a starless sky,
a dazzling brilliance briefly shone
blinding me then passing by.
And in their light, I bathed in joy
a moment only, short and sweet -
each lustrous, golden, shining boy -
I loved them with a white-hot heat.
Short, sudden bursts of warmth and light
a momentary ecstasy,
yet after - all was cold as night...
it was as if I’d ceased to be.
Those brief encounters, paths that crossed,
were beacons in my loneliness,
now gone from view, and all but lost:
the light grows dim, the heat is less.
The sky is dark, eternal space -
and all that’s left to me is death.
I now recall each beauteous face:
the memory like a lover’s breath.
This small anthology of poems is © 2008 Jack Kendle, to whom comments may be sent.
