Lost and Found
by Jack Kendle
Chapter 5
Somehow or other I got home. My mind was reeling. It was as if I had been blown off my feet and landed somewhere miles away. I was breathless, bewildered and also deeply moved. Leo's image was constantly before me, I really don't know how I managed to drive home: I saw nothing but Leo everywhere I looked. I went over our encounter over and over again. I was both relieved and upset at how things had turned out. Relieved that I had managed to control myself and not jump Leo's bones there and then, but also frustrated that I had managed to control myself. My lifelong fantasies could have come true there and then, but I had stopped it from happening. The devil at my left shoulder taunted me: "you could have let your wildest dreams come true, Jack. He was throwing himself at you. He really wanted it. You could still do it, Jack. Just phone him. Send him an e-mail, then you can have that lovely sexy boy all to yourself. Go on... just do it, Jack!"
My reasonable self then took over: "What if you had done something, Jack? And it freaked him out? He's too young to know what he wants. He's confused. You did right, Jack. Don't throw away your marriage, your family, your career just over one boy."
I got home. Tom was at soccer practice and Emma at her dancing-class. Hannah would pick them up after her evening class and they would go somewhere for junk food, a typical Tuesday routine. I would be alone for the next couple of hours or so. I must have been hard all the way home. As I got indoors, I was conscious of my cock straining and I felt the dampness from my precum had soaked the front of my boxers. I had been really turned on by Leo and his closeness. I just had to relieve myself. Hastily, I stripped off, and right there and then, in the hallway, leaning against the front door, I grasped my aching tool and jacked off. This was no time to take it slow. I was right on the edge and, with the image of Leo's cock straining against his 501's and his silky blonde head and the kiss he gave me, I was over the edge in seconds. My knees buckled as rope after rope of cum spurted from my angry cockhead. I moaned and called out Leo's name as the
orgasm began to subside. Milking my cock, I imagined Leo and me together, as I then slowly licked the cum from my fingers. Opening my eyes at last, I saw I had made a real mess of the hallway, and cum was still slowly dripping from my cock. I shuffled out of my trousers, found a washcloth in the downstairs bathroom and began to clear up the puddles of cum. I stripped off the rest of my clothes, pushed them into the washing machine, turned it on, so that no trace would be left of my frenzied jerk-off session for Hannah to speculate over. I changed into some clean clothes and still trembling from the orgasm and the events that had inspired it, I poured myself a stiff scotch and went to the computer.
Violinist has signed in
Jacob (online) says: Hiya! ☺
Violinist says: Hi Jacob. How r u 2day?
Jacob says: Fine. U? How was your session with Leo?
Violinist says: He basically came out of the closet to me. He said he loved me. I was so tempted, Jake.
Jacob says: Did you?
Violinist says: No. I couldn't do it. I really wanted to, but I kept thinking of what could happen if things went wrong. But it was very close. It was an intense situation.
Jacob says: I'm glad you managed to control yourself. You cannot get involved with a student, Jack. However you might try to justify it, it is always wrong. And if some how or other you're found out, then your life is ruined.
Violinist says: I know, Jake; but he says he loves me…
Jacob says: C'mon, Jack. You know as well as I do. He's still young. He's confused. He maybe doesn't yet know his own true feelings.
Violinist says: That's what I said to him.
Jacob says: And?
Violinist says: He said he was sure he loved me and was glad I listened to him. He said he didn't feel as lonely any more.
Jacob says: Well, there's some good from this; but, Jack, you are going to have to be really careful. You are being sorely tempted, but you have to try and keep at arm's length. He needs someone his own age.
Violinist says: That's what I said. But how can he find someone? It's not easy, Jake.
Jacob says: How do any of us do it? It has to be his fight. At least he knows you are with him and support him.
Violinist says: I said he could talk to me whenever he needed. I gave him my "private" e-mail addy.
Jacob says: I'm sure you'll be a great help and support for him, Jack. But don't get tempted. However hard it is (hehe no pun!) you must not give in.
Violinist says: Okay Jake, but 'it' is hard! K.
Jacob says: Take care of it then, J.
Violinist says: I just did!
Jacob says: Horny bugger! J
Violinist says: Gotta go, Jake; someone at the door.
Jacob says:K, Bye, Jack.
Violinist says: Bye.
I signed out and went to open the front door. I had nervous worries that it was either Leo in a state, coming to see me, or, even worse, his parents, if Leo had cracked at home and told them what had happened between us. I was therefore very apprehensive when I got to the front door. It was Susan Tomason, my colleague and Leo's teacher. The thought immediately went through my mind that he had gone to her and told her of our – or rather, of my indiscretion earlier. I needn't have worried. Susan was all smiles and apologetic as I ushered her in.
"I saw you were home, I hope you don't mind me dropping in unannounced," she said. I said I didn't and showed her into the living room.
"Well, I would have 'phoned you," she said, "but as I was passing anyway..."
"Is there a problem?" I asked, still slightly apprehensive.
"No, no. No problem at all. At least it shouldn't be," she replied. "It's that I have taken on a new student, who has just moved into the area and I thought he would be ideal for the senior orchestra. He's only sixteen, and only been studying for three years, but he's so promising. His mother thinks he might be losing interest in learning the violin and wondered if playing in an orchestra would help him make up his mind to keep learning. Otherwise, she thinks he'll give up and go into rock... which is fine, I suppose, but she doesn't want to see such a talent go to waste. Neither do I, Jack. I've heard him play. He's something exceptional. Do you think there's a chance for him to play in the senior orchestra? It would be companionship for Leo, too. Must be hard being the only boy in amongst all those girls!"
Susan said this all almost without taking a breath. That's how she was: a dedicated teacher and one who didn't do things by halves. She had certainly turned out some excellent players through the years and I completely trusted her judgement in these matters.
"By the way," she continued, without giving me a chance to get a word in edgeways, "Leo told me how much he enjoyed the orchestra on Saturday. He really looks up to you, Jack. There seems to be some sort of hero-worship there!" If only she knew! Not hero worship, but something else, something much more potent - and potentially dangerous! I just smiled and said nothing. I knew it would be a lost cause anyway as Susan carried on her monologue: "The boy's name is Daniel Johnston. He's a bit of a live wire. I suspect he has some inner demons, which he hides behind a facade of toughness and attitude, but at heart he's a good lad. You might have some trouble with him at first: he really has attitude that boy. But inside, once you do get to know him, he's a good boy. I've seen enough of teenagers to know when there's something good there. It's usually the case; teenagers aren't bad, Jack, they just feel they need to show indifference
or hostility to everything 'adult' or organised. He sort of 'accidentally' started the violin, after seeing some sort of rock band that had a violinist in. According to his previous teacher, he just took to it like a duck to water and has forged ahead. But recently he's been rebelling. Normal for his age, I suppose. He's still interested in playing in a rock band, but he also knows how to play the classics. He is very musical and his mother would love to see him do something more than spare-time rock music with it. So would I, Jack. I think he could go far."
This was high praise indeed from Ms Susan Tomason. If she thought a student would 'go far', she meant conservatory material, even going into the profession. I had to take her seriously and was totally prepared to do so. As I said, Susan was seldom wrong. Another boy in the orchestra! I mentally licked my lips. Even sight-unseen, as it were, the prospect excited me. Well, I'm like that, aren't I? I am attracted to teenage boys...
"Sure, Susan," I said, taking advantage of a small gap in her breathless spiel. If he's as good as you say, then I have no reason to doubt you. You can tell him he can come on Saturday, say 9:30 am, before the rehearsal begins, just so I can hear him for myself and decide whether he should be in the first or second violins."
"Thanks, Jack," she replied, getting up to leave, "You won't regret it." Little did she know! For that matter, little did I know either.
In these last few minutes a chain of events had been set in motion in which at least two lives, in actual fact many more, would be changed for ever.
