One
by Oliver
Oh really! You sometimes make me sick! Basta! There you are, showing off again. Like you really think you're something don't you? Vanity! Just showing yourself off, you perv. You should get some clothes on before someone reports you. I wouldn't care though, you deserve to be reported.
Okay, I admit, you have nice hair, although it hasn't seen a comb for a while, but I suppose it has a certain charm, boyishly tousled I think they call it, I'll give you that.
But you always look so bloody intense, staring at people like that. I'm surprised someone hasn't clocked you one for that stare. Didn't anybody tell you it's rude to stare? Mind you, I suppose your size puts them off, statu-bloody-esque.
That and that piece you're carrying. You don't frighten me though.
Why are you always frowning anyway? What's bothering you? You've had that expression since I first saw you. If you think your sultry 'rugged hunk' looks have any effect on me, then think again. Well, okay, you are good-looking, if you like that sort of thing, but not so special, matey. There are plenty of other good-lookers around, smooth and cool dudes, so don't give yourself airs, even though you seem to have a following. Jealous? Me? Dream on. I'm not the jealous type.
Okay, nice chest, I'll give you that, but why do we need to see it all the time?
Plenty of other guys with six-packs and firm nipples, what makes you so special anyway?
So, you work out. Big deal.
Bum's nice, rounded and dimpled; no excess fat, I'll grant you, but do we really need to see it as often as we do?
Beats me why you like being in the buff; with a dick that size. I mean, you're a big boy everywhere else except in the cock department. I mean, size matters and for a guy your size with such a measly wiener, c'mon, don't make me laugh!
Okay, okay, I didn't say that. Forget it. And stop bloody staring!
Nice legs, big feet. You know what they say about the size of a man's feet? No? Doesn't matter anyway, they were wrong in your case.
You've got nice hands, that I will admit. Strong, yet gentle, but if you really want to know, I think your arms are a bit long, remind me of an orang-utan - okay okay! Sorry already!
So, you just stand there, all cool like, showing your tackle to all and sundry. You'll get arrested one of these days.
There's someone coming now, go on! Hide yourself, you dumbass!
Too late. She's coming my way.
"Si signora? Si. That is Michelangelo's David."
